WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama, known as an avid NCAA basketball fan, has reportedly taken interest in the formation of a new conference from the remains of the floundering Big East.
"Let me be clear," Mr. Obama said in a press conference, "the formation of an all-Catholic sports conference is of great concern to both myself, and the Department of Justice."
Experts say the administration is attempting to make a strong statement in the wake of Notre Dame's violation of the so-called "BCS Mandate" (an executive order proclaiming that Notre Dame would never be allowed to compete for a national championship while St. Mary's continues to practice gender discrimination in admissions).
However, Mr. Obama offered a compromise solution. He would not move to dissolve the conference if its members agree to appoint Rick Pitino as commissioner and pay for his "restaurant bills".
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